Mental strength isn’t often reflected in what you do. It’s usually seen in what you don’t do.
In her book “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do,” Amy Morin writes that developing mental strength is a “three-pronged approach.” It’s about controlling your thoughts, behaviors, and emotions.
Following are 13 things that mentally strong people do not do, Morin says.
This is an update of an article originally written by Steven Benna.
1. They don’t waste time feeling sorry for themselves.
“Feeling sorry for yourself is self-destructive,” Morin writes. “Indulging in self-pity hinders living a full life.” It wastes time, creates negative emotions, and hurts your relationships.
The key is to “affirm the good in the world, and you will begin to appreciate what you have,” she writes. The goal is to swap self-pity with gratitude.
2. They don’t give away their power.
People give away their power when they lack physical and emotional boundaries, Morin writes. You need to stand up for yourself and draw the line when necessary. If other people are in control of your actions, they define your success and self-worth. It’s important that you keep track of your goals and work toward them.
Morin uses Oprah Winfrey as an example of someone with a strong grip on their power. Winfrey grew up dealing with poverty and sexual abuse, but “she chose to define who she was going to be in life by not giving away her power.”
3. They don’t shy away from change.
There are five stages of change, Morin writes: pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, and maintenance.
Following through with each of the five steps is crucial. Making changes can be frightening, but shying away from them prevents growth. “The longer you wait, the harder it gets,” she says. “Other people will outgrow you.”
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