We always strive for progress, but some things are just not meant to happen soon. Or ever
The new year is just around the corner and some of us are poring over the horoscope section of glossy magazines to get a glimpse of what will – and will not– happen in 2016.
While e27 cannot say anything about your personal life, let us channel our inner clairvoyant with a list of things that we do not think will happen in technology next year.
Do not forget to check back on this list again in December 2017. We could be wrong. (We secretly hope some of these would actually come true, though).
1. Light-speed Internet
Countries such as South Korea are embracing the 5G network, but we are talking about light speed here. Woosh, woosh.
When Li-Fi was first announced, the Internet went ballistic with all the possibilities and opportunities.
While this is certainly promising news, we suggest that you check out the terms and conditions page before you cancel your current Wi-Fi subscription. Some things just need to wait.
2. Technology to turn YouTube comments into renewable energy
Admit it, your favourite video-sharing platform is not a very safe zone at all. While videos that exploit war victims and abused animals for likes are bad enough, racist, homophobic and sexist comments that lead to endless debate are abundant on YouTube.
So, when Twitter user Snarkin Pie (@mamasnark) tweeted that Donald Trump is what would happen when the comments section turned into a human and ran for president, we seriously wondered why no technology exists yet to process all the negativity into renewable energy?
I mean, we have done the same thing with human waste.
3. Yahoo Messenger making a comeback
Vintage! So adorable. Not really.
Yahoo Messenger was shut down in 2012, but recently Yahoo announced that it is coming back with new features such as GIFs and the ability to ‘unsend’ a message.
Somewhere, some people might be excited about this news, seeing how there was a petition in 2013 demanding its return. No, it did not reach its targeted supporters.
But why stay stuck in the past when you can move on? This applies not only to your love life but also to your chat messenger of choice, especially since we have so many other options now.
I am personally glad that I need to remind most people in my social circle that the news popped up only a week ago.
In the words of the ever wise Regina George: Stop trying to make buzz happen.
4. Wearable caffeine
In this postmodern age, you can basically eat caffeine in the form of peanut butter and even brush your teeth with caffeinated toothpaste (we are not kidding) to give your morning shower an extra zing.
But all these still require consuming it, and we want something that requires even less effort. Maybe something you can wear like a watch that turns you into a morning person right away, because as far as technology goes, alarm clocks are just not working anymore. But it has to work without injections or electric shocks, of course.
So far, the closest thing we have is caffeine we can inhale, the way we inhale tobacco from e-cigarettes.
Wearables startups, your move.
5. Total acceptance of ride-sharing
Earlier this week, we were shaken by the news that the Governor of Jakarta had given his blessing for Uber Indonesia to operate. Considering how Uber is greeted by rejection everywhere it goes, we can only imagine the look on the face of its archenemy Jakarta Transportation Agency.
Then the plot twist happened.
Since this is not an episode of Game of Thrones, nobody died, but Governor Purnama ended up denying that he had ever made such remarks. The approval is not happening yet and Uber is being scolded publicly by the Governor like a student who had forgotten his homework.
We can almost hear the roaring laughter of conventional taxi drivers across the city. It is bound to last throughout 2016, we imagine.
Image Credit: gratisography.com
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