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An open letter to ‘The One’

Unicorns are identified, and potential ones will splurge out in the near future or so. Does that mean the chances of catching their attention is lower? As more will be taken in the near future, will that give me a lower chance to be noticed by the imminent ones? Wait, what or who am I talking about again?

Dear ‘The One’,

I hope you get to know me better, and things will work out well for the both of us:

1. I’m only looking for a long-term relationship. If your intentions are not there, please save us the time, energy and emotional exhaustion. I hate excuses, empty promises, misguided information, pointless teasers and short-term bonds without much value for my future.
2. I know that you are aware of the fact that girls have it once a month, but if you’re not the closest to my heart, please wait for your feedback after every quarter. I don’t like too much attention and I need some space.
3. I like to know my options while I’m still not taken, and I socialise quite a bit to have an idea of my potentials. Please don’t restrict me or tell me whom I should or should not meet.
4. When we do have initial connection or chemistry, communication is key to moving forward or else I wouldn’t know how you feel.
5. When you initiate a conversation and I respond, please don’t take too long to reply as too many theories appear and I will over analyse or change my mind about how I feel.
6. I know that I’m not the only one that matters to you, because your life is contingent upon a holistic performance of everything that is dear or associated with you, but if you truly believe in my potential, please don’t drag me down or ask me to save a part of you that isn’t working out too well. Forcing synergies wouldn’t work out well.
7. I don’t like rushing into decisions, so sometimes I do need some space to think things through, especially when it involves my value and worth in my lifetime and how I would deal with myself during times when I’m down.
8. I value honesty, perseverance, loyalty and integrity. If you are taking the initiative to pursue me, please be mindful of what I strongly value. It will be difficult to regain my trust when you don’t respect what I value, for future events that might interest you.
9. Don’t assume that I will automatically get along with your “homies, hombres, cousins, wolf pack.” Sometimes we have egos and sometimes we are competitive like cats and dogs.
10. In a relationship, it’s about the process not just the end point. If you want to rush things, I will give you the exit immediately!
11. When you already have someone similar to me, don’t try to find ways to take advantage of me and conceal the fact that you are just fishing.
12. If during our time together, we find it more difficult to get along or help each other reach our full potential, please forgive me if I go on to find a new prospect to lead me.

Also Read: Funding Ask & Valuation 101 for founders

You thought we are talking about dating someone? Nope. Ain’t nobody got time for that. It is all about a startup’s relationship with potential and existing investors. Now, read again and refer to the list below:

1. Investment decision
2. Co-investors need to be less demanding.
3. Defensive investors asking to stay down low and not talk to anyone if they feel they beat you to a deal.
4. I will do the chasing and follow up, but please be sincere with your intentions.
5. Please don’t play games with me as I have a company to run.
6. Don’t drag me down if your other portfolio isn’t working out.
7. Don’t rush agreements and question too much about down round and how it would protect you but crush me.
8. If you sabotage me, I’ll be hurt and won’t keep you updated for future fundraising rounds.
9. Don’t assume that all your portfolio companies like each other or can work together and synergise
10. Don’t pressure me with exit plans; focus on growing the company together.
11. Be more ethical if you have already invested in competing deals. Don’t waste my time fishing for information without any intention of investing in me.
12. Raising a new round with a new lead investor

PS: This is a response piece to a random rant in 2014.

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The REAL author of this masterpiece is Christina from Travelio (once you read this, you will be magically bound to book a room with them). The accomplice: Victor Chua from Gobi Partners.

The views expressed here are of the author’s, and e27 may not necessarily subscribe to them. e27 invites members from Asia’s tech industry and startup community to share their honest opinions and expert knowledge with our readers. If you are interested in sharing your point of view, submit your post here.

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